Children are just little people that learn to love and understand love in different ways, just as adults do. As adults, we search to figure out our significant others love language, but we don’t do this for our children. When we don’t show our children love the way they understand it, we can cause deep emotional wounds that last a lifetime. There are 5 essential love languages: quality time, physical touch, acts of service, gifts, and words of affirmation. If you want your child to know you love him, here is how to find and use your child’s love language:
Observe how they show love to others: Does your child make pictures for grandma (gifts)? Does your child like to cuddle up with you when you’ve been gone (physical touch)? Does your child like to help you cook or clean (acts of service)? Does your child like to tell everyone how beautiful they are (words of affirmation)? Does your child like to go on walks with just you (quality time)? Determining how your child shoes others love will help you to determine how to show love to them.
Use Choices to find their Love Language: When you give your children choices, you not only find out what they like, but you also give them self-confidence and decision-making skills. Ask your child if they would rather go on a walk with you (quality time) or if they would rather get something from the store (gifts). Other options would be to have a tickle fight (physical touch) or make cookies together (quality time). The choices they choose will help you to determine what they like and what their love language is.
Observe how your child responds to you: Pay attention to what your child complains about. If your child complains about going to the store with you, then quality time may not be their love language. If your child beams when you tell them you’re proud of them, but just says thank you when you pick up their room, their love language may be words of affirmation.
Keep in mind that younger children will usually need all love languages to feel loved, but as they get older specific love languages will shine through their decisions, the way they love, and the way they respond. What is your child’s love language? How do you know?